It’s time for a special Christmas edition of Final Thoughts. It might be winter, but it is still melting season…snowflake melting season, that is.
Oh no, have I already offended you?
In Britain, a new survey by insurance firm Aviva discovered that 72 percent of 16 to 24-year-olds there think the term “snowflake” is rudely applied to millennials. 74 percent of respondents took it even further, arguing that they think the use of the label could have a negative impact on young people’s mental health.
And that is special snowflake syndrome at its finest.
So what is a snowflake? Allow me to explain.
If you spend more time in the streets in “protest” than you occupy a shower, or a job, you’re a snowflake.
If you’re convinced that despite any actual evidence, Russia somehow stole the election from Hillary, you’re a snowflake.
If your favorite arts and crafts projects are knitting pink hats in the shape of a reproductive organs or scribbling “Resist” on a cardboard sign, you’re a snowflake.
If choosing between two gender options seems unfair to you, you are a snowflake.
If you demand a safe space from conservative speeches but think it’s perfectly acceptable to burn and smash dour own campus in protest, you are a snowflake – a violent snowflake – but still a snowflake.
If you think that you, just by being born, deserve a participation trophy, you are a snowflake.
If you really believe someone else should pay for your college education, you are a snowflake. There is no such thing as “free.” It isn’t free if your neighbor pays for it.
If you think that borders, walls, and immigration laws are heartless, you are a snowflake.
If recognizing the “Islam” in radical Islamic terrorism upsets you, you are a snowflake.
If you think that an AR-15 is a military assault rifle, you are a snowflake.
If you have never bought, shot, or even touched a firearm but insist you are an expert on gun policy, then you are a snowflake, and terribly misinformed.
If the American flag and the National Anthem upset you, you are a snowflake and you should pick up your snowflake booty and relocate to another country since you obviously don’t appreciate this one.
If a simple Christmas greeting launches you into a PC orbit, you are a snowflake.
And last but not least, if you are more worried about what our president tweets than the amazing things he’s doing for jobs, GDP, the stock market, border and national security, you are for absolutely sure a snowflake.
It’s time to wake up and understand you are special to your parents, not anyone else. You need to get over the idea that the worst thing that can happen to you is hurt feelings.
If you sit around and wait for someone to offend you, you’re not living a very complete or productive life. Dry your tears, accept reality, and get to work. If you don’t enjoy the way your life is going, change it. Life is tough, put on a helmet.